New "Pome", October 2020

I've been pondering whether to continue this blog, after catching up with old doggerels. How to maintain the silly tone in these dark, absurd times? Is it necessary levity or jarringly tone deaf? Well, I decided that when the mood strikes, I will "pome" -- it helps maintain my sanity. Plus, no one sees this blog! 

Here's one I sent someone who is one year behind me...  

Sister-In-Law Birthday Poem

Even though it's twenty-twenty

and complaints are plenty-plenty,

here come days to celebrate,

so why refrain or balk or wait?

In lieu of gifts this coming year

you'll get a pile of mail, I fear.

Yes, Medicare is quite aware

of each and ever-y grey hair.

They'll send you letters every day

till, "Stop, please STOP!" you'll start to pray.

They won't, of course, till you decide.

No, even then, you cannot hide.

Pretend each one's a birthday card (tee hee)

(don't tell me that I'm full of lard),

we have to try to make the best

until this year is put to rest!

Going forward, 2020?

This is from September 16th this year. A little pre-election humor (?) although I'm not amused at the current refusal of Republicans/McConnell to pass another much needed Covid relief bill. Seems they think further deep-sixing the economy will tarnish a Biden presidency. Oh, that gives me an idea for another doggerel. Another day.

Senate Resolution 688

Our government is hard at work.

Mitch McConnell, its most biggest jerk,

blocks every most important bill,

with iron fist and rusted will.

But then! with deft, demented whimsy,

a move oh so strange, firmly flimsy,

a brilliant idea to pass a law!

He needs release, to flex his claw.

Where there's a will there is a way --

declare 9/25 National Lobster Day!

 

Last 2015 pome I could find, unless I dig out birthday cards to himself or Soeur

 

Pome for a Fig Tree        (6/16/15)

When you were small and potty bound,

I tried to think of where in ground

you might do better, thrive and grow,

and make it through the wind and snow.

Have never yet decided where

although i really, really care,

so I have put you in a pot

that is much bigger than a lot.

Now I see you've grown some buds

that may turn into figs, not duds.

At least there is a teeny chance

unless gets "et" by birds or ants…

I'll water you 'bout every day

while you are in the figgy way.

It's hard to give birth to a fig

that's hanging from your little twig.

*2020, figgy’s in the ground out front. Not enough sun, but we get 4-5 figs a year from it! She’s much happier now, with some black-eyed susans and echinacea nearby.

On the way out...

 Last things song, Nr. 1             (6/12/15)             

A birthday's good for wasting time,

Do collage and make a rhyme.

Someone else's big, big day 

lets you do creative play.

That's a good thing for your brain,

stop the cataloging strain.

Edging toward the freedom life...

here i come, retirement wife!

*Yep, I was out of there in August. (Collage refers to the department’s tradition of making birthday cards).

Mavens & money

 

Husband sells amplifier!                         (3/9/15)      

Maven is as maven does,

Amplifies, becomes the buzz.

Forward march and buy that amp,

plug it in, play like a champ.

What the maven chooses, buys,

must be best, they all surmise.

*R is a maven, I decided after reading Malcolm Gladwell.

***************************************************

Moolah Alternative Pome, or Catalogers Love Old Vocab     (3/16/15)

I work and work and work all weeks

to get us few more spondulix.*

I do not need to do this now,

could leave this job and just say 'ciao'!

Another spelling, "spondulicks"

allows for rhyming with deep six.

The origin, I hear, is Greek --

I know this pome is somewhat weak.

Let's try to laugh, accommodating

the word that is so antiquating.

*Working in a library improves one’s vocabulary (and brain). Spondulix is 19th century slang for moolah, cash, specifically a reasonable amount of spending money. Money and retirement were clearly on my mind. 

Nearing the end, 2015

Work-a-day Pome                         (3/6/15)       

Good thing about this job in here

is seeing books and drinking beer.

No, wait, that last is not quite true,

it's that the books are never due.

Oops, that is wrong as well, a year...

we turn them in by August, dear.

The good thing : that I get to see

ahead new books before they flee

on down the pipeline to the shelf,

and that is added to my wealth,

this endless list of books to read,

this intel-lectu-ally seed.

Now if I only had the time,

I'd read instead of making rhyme.

And then would be as smart as Graham,

with brain as full of words and RAM,

computer-like...  No, more organic.

I'd be retired -- idea volcanic!

*************************************

Secondary, Responsive Pome           (3/6/15)

I wood, i should, go take a galk*

and gawking watch along the walk...

there are so many oddkins kids

all dressed as if their sense has hid.

The website says, "feels like sixteen"

to match their age? that what it mean??

I'll bundle up and galk, I must...

just hope the wind wood never gust.

That line! it make me think of Steve!

Windwood! Oh yes -- it's time to leave...

*R emailed me, playfully, saying “Have a wood galk” (good walk), despite the chilly air.

Word play, the most fun…

February eating woes, 2015

 Tuesday pome                             (2/3/15)      

Snacking in a vague attempt

to swell up bigger, like a blimp.

Really not, not quite that big,

stay nimble, able, dance a jig.

If this is aging, is a joke...

put in your pipe and have a smoke…

mostly people gain, blow up...

me am shrinking, small mudblup*!

*inside joke/word

***********************************

The moral of the Muffin              (2/10/15)

Eating muffin, bit my jaw,

can't put nuffing in my maw.

Enforced diet, needed not...

skinny minnie craves a lot.

When in doubt just drink some tea,

though it haves no calorie?

Oh no, better munch some snacks:

choc'late, peanuts. Here's the facts...

Teeths is deadly when you chew

much too quickly, just a few

wounds can make you lose the weight

thus the skinny is your fate.

Moral of the story is

eat more slowly, do not whiz

through your meal, yes, take your time,

specially when you're past your prime!

Winter is long, 2015

 Sleet day pome                    (1/23/15)              

winter is a dark grey pome,

days you want to stay at home.

everyone has cough and sneeze,

chests are tight and make you wheeze.

days get longer? is that right?

still can't tell -- there is no light…

****************************************************

Pome attempt                      (1/27/15)

It's really not that I am bored,

just need a change of pace.

Too much fingers, feet ignored,

too much a big rat race.

Ironic is that sitting still

is what is bad for me.

The stationary tush, it will

get just as big as three!

So time to go outside and walk,

take in some good fresh air.

Or find someone to stand and talk,

and gossip some and swear.

Pomes is hard, computers glitch,

my fingers fumbled first.

This pome's okay, with just a hitch,

but it is not the worst.

*I’d almost decided to retire by now?

Autumn into winter 2014

 

(for R, raking leaves in futility)          (11/14/14) 

The leaves that fall in all of fall...

the leaves you jumped in, had a ball...

The times that changed right underneath

and changed the game to work and grief...

The trick is now to find a way

to turn that work back into play.

******************************************************

Hippy drippy song                      (11/21/14)

Now I know should not have skipped

winter layers, now I've dripped

over hands and desk and keys

no, no, not a cold, oh please

Where's the tea, the Kleenex, sneeze...

back into Lemond top, wheeze...

"Thanks" for "giving" me this cold...

Turkey Day is put on hold…

******************************************************

Back To Woik Pome                  (1/5/15)

Did you go back to bed cuz you can,

right after I'z up, ate and ran?

I got here and plugged in,

chucked email in trash bin,

and checked in with all of the clan.

My password still don't work,

go check with IT clerk*…

who let me use his IT screen,

to reset the danged thing,

oh life has new meaning!

Now I'm back on this old machine...

Oh, email says password expired,

the timing is really inspired.

The fourth was on Sunday,

not here until Monday.

This could make me already tired!

*There are no clerks in the library! It just rhymed. I think it was Brown, a super intelligent, professional, most helpful person!  (Odd cadence in this one. Post-Xmas fatigue?)

Moving toward retirement...

 

Bright, sunny day          (4/2/14)

The sun is out, I've got the itch

to see the diggers fill that ditch

or saddle up and go get food.

You know, it's sunny, really, dude.

There's bamboo waiting for a trim,

there's compost full up to the brim,

so much to do when it is warm

and winter's made its last big storm (?)

How long can I sit in this chair?

how long can I grow out this hair?

There really is much more to life

than all this cataloging strife.

*the ditch was for drainage in the ongoing rebuild of the addition with no foundation.

******************************

Time to retire?     (9/2/14)

Much too quiet, distant buzz,

thinking some about whut wuz...

Empty desk & empty chair,

all that sitting over there...

Also I've been sitting here,

so so long it's rather queer...

almost time to spread ma wings,

up & do some different things. 

**Kept up until August 2015!

*****************************

Cold snap pome       (11/14/14)

The weather's changing, it is time

to layer up as temps decline.

My hands and feet are very chill,

wearing mittens from Goodwill...

We'll soon be sipping good hot toddies,

sit by fires like foddy doddies...

read and doze but mostly doze,

glad our noses haven't froze.

Three from March 2014 (Trying really hard to distract myself)

 Late March lament rescued      (3/24/14)       

Drive to work with scarf and gloves,

this is weather no one loves.

Cold as cold as cold as shit,

almost cold as witch's tit.

Lost both earbobs in the car,

dadsammet, tarnation "far".

Looked around and found the one...

then the other, sonofagun!

Now I do not have to swear;

now i do not have a care.

Repeat mantra: "all serene";

keep the language good and clean.

*"dadsammet" was my paternal grandfather's version of gd-it. Ever heard that one? His main use of it, from what I heard, was about my grandmother pouring him too much coffee. Really. "Dadsammet, woman, I said half a cup!" So one year, someone gave him one of those mugs that is flat on one side. Ta-da.

********************************

Messy, flump Spring        (3/25/14)

Forgot to tell you one more thing,

as we're easing into "spring"...

the city's giving more leeway

about debris that's here to stay.

No, it's not! and there's more time,

indefinitely, (now make a rhyme!)

Extended pick-up for yard waste,

8 thousand tons, there is no haste. 

**one of many communiqués with manthing.

*********************************

Movement is god (good?)        (3/26/14)

A grammy who is active now

is one who'll punch a little pow.

To stand and sit and not fall down

is major big in High Point town.

(refrain) Astound, don't hit the ground, do the body pound, get a bit less round...

Exercising that much time,

shames me though not in my prime

I will have to schedule more

time to work upon my core.

Astound, don't hit the ground, do the body pound, get a bit less round…

***Six years later... still kickin'.  And can get herself up from the floor when the inevitable happens.